If you want to find out what makes you come alive, sometimes the first step is to notice what makes you feel deflated, angry, sad, defeated. How many people can honestly say that 20 minutes on Facebook makes them feel better about themselves, passionate, ready to write that novel, create that business? I remember reading once a few years back that there had been a study about phone booth etiquette (when phone booths still existed), and that when the callers knew that others were waiting to use the phone, they took longer to finish their calls, I’m guessing because there is some perverse joy in making others wait.
Isn’t that the same with social media? I wonder if the thrill in bragging lies in knowing that others are waiting for what you have in your life to happen in their own lives. I have a client whose grad school friends would post what jobs they got, knowing that many others were still looking. Other people post picture after picture of their big wedding day, knowing that many others hadn’t been invited. Do we really want to be that person who posts how blessed she is because her child got into all 8 Ivies and is having a hard time choosing?
For those of us who are waiting for the dream to come to fruition, whether it’s work that fills your soul, or a new relationship, or a child to come into our lives, remember that it’s the unfolding that is beautiful. And social media, with its bragging and snarkiness, stomps on the part of us that is becoming something new, just like pulling up bulbs in the winter before the flower has had time to bloom.
Trust in the process of unfolding. And don’t let anyone pull at your roots until you’re ready to blossom.